Dowry in India began centuries ago as a gesture of security for women and in its earliest form it was meant to provide them with ornaments, land or cattle as a safeguard in their married life. It was not born out of greed but out of a need to ensure that a woman was not left helpless if something went wrong. Yet over the years what once stood as a symbol of protection slowly changed its meaning until it became a burden.
In the beginning, dowry did give women some form of independence. It gave them a share of their parental wealth and was meant to act as their personal safety net. But that sense of empowerment is long gone. Today dowry has turned into a transaction and its purpose is no longer to protect but to showcase wealth and social standing. That is why you must wonder why a belief that has lost all meaning continues to exist.
So there is this thing of increasing dowry money. It may have started with a few sovereigns of gold but today it has reached a point where cars, houses, cash and endless gifts are part of the ritual. What this has done is create a cycle where those who can afford it raise the bar while those who cannot are forced to stretch themselves just to match. Even when they try to keep things simple they are not free because society now measures worth against what others have displayed.
The reason dowry has not stopped is because the one who could afford to say no have not said it. Their silence keeps the practice alive. And when they give, it is not done privately or to protect their kids. They make a headlines of it. They let the world know what they have offered. They treat it as a matter of pride but when in truth it is nothing but social irresponsibility that pushes others into this void.
It is not always the ones who ask who are at fault. Of course many demand dowry and in some cases even women themselves have done so. But that does not mean the one providing it is free of blame. The giver and the receiver share equal responsibility. Without that recognition there will never be change.
Every time a rich family spends lavishly on dowry, they may believe they are securing their daughter’s future, but in reality they are contributing to a system that has already destroyed countless lives. They may never see it but somewhere another family is falling apart under pressure somewhere another woman is being harassed because her family could not give enough.
Instead of all this the true gift is education. Teach daughters how to face challenges, give them the confidence to leave a broken marriage, support them in standing tall on their own. Women today are educated, they work, they hold positions as high as men do and they do not need dowry to define or secure themselves.
Change must begin somewhere and it can only begin by saying "NO". If you believe you can afford dowry ask yourself what you are actually achieving by offering it. Ask yourself if your generosity is worth the tragedies that follow and whether you want to be a silent part of the same story.
Every time you add to this tradition you are not just giving gifts you are keeping a system alive, that has destroyed families and taken daughters to graves. The question is not whether you can afford it, the question is whether you can live with being part of the reason it still exists.
