Wednesday, 23 October 2024

The Paradox of Individuality Within Relationship

 


In discussions about relationships, the idea of individuality often comes up. People insist that you can be yourself while being with someone else. This has always puzzled me. When two people come together, it is almost never just about "being yourself", it is about what you want from the other person and what they want from you. So where exactly does individuality fit into that?


These days, many cling to the belief that they can keep their individuality intact within a relationship. But honestly this feels far from reality. Relationships require effort, connection and most importantly sacrifice. If maintaining absolute individuality is the goal, then why be in a relationship at all? Relationships are not built on isolation, they thrive on mutual involvement.


At the heart of any relationship is a simple truth that people come together to fill a void, to seek something they do not have. This need for connection complicates the idea of "being yourself". If the very reason you are in a relationship is to get something from someone else, can you really claim you are maintaining pure individuality?


Beyond emotional needs, relationships also shape who we become over time. The longer you are with someone, the more you adapt and adjust, consciously or not. You begin to mirror habits, preferences and even values. This is not about losing oneself but rather the natural influence of being close to someone. In any meaningful relationship you inevitably change. 


When a person prioritizes individuality over the relationship, it can leave the other feeling sidelined and neglected. They may feel invisible with their needs overshadowed by the other’s focus on themselves. This can lead to loneliness, frustration and even emotional distance.


So, if individuality is what you value the most here is a tough question, why are you seeking relationships in the first place? Why not just stay alone and keep your individuality intact?

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