GVM’s Love Stories vs His Views on Boundaries

 

I am a huge fan of Gautham Vasudev Menon. His films are unique, poetic and sometimes even raw. So, when I came across an interview where he said, "If only the girl takes a step, you should take the step, if not you should not go to that side", it struck me as an incredibly mature line. He framed it as a gentleman’s way of recognizing boundaries. It is not often that you hear a male filmmaker articulate that level of sensitivity toward a woman's consent and boundaries.

But when I revisited some of his iconic films, I cannot help but notice a contrast. Take "Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya" for example, a film I adore for the chemistry between Karthik and Jessie. But the truth is, Karthik’s persistence crosses into obsession even when Jessie repeatedly rejects him. It is romanticized to such a degree that his relentless pursuit becomes enjoyable to the audience. This disparity between his real life views and the stories he chooses to tell on screen is hard to ignore.

It is not just the men in his films who pursue despite rejection. In "Yennai Arindhaal", Hemanika continues to chase Sathyadev even after he tries to distance himself due to his tragic past. Despite his clear hesitation, she pushes through breaking down his emotional barriers until he eventually gives in. While the film frames her determination as an act of love, it raises questions about boundaries. GVM’s real life perspective emphasizes respecting space, yet his films often glorify characters who ignore initial resistance, suggesting that continuous pursuit equals love.

Perhaps this is the challenge of art and reality clashing. GVM in real life talks about respecting personal boundaries but his films often show a different and more complicated side of love where those boundaries are crossed or ignored. Maybe he is showing that real love is complicated and that people do not always behave ideally when their hearts are on the line. Or maybe he is simply fullfilling the dramatic expectations of the audience. 

But Isn’t this confusing for those who admire his movies and interviews, seeing him as someone who values respect and is a gentleman, only to watch his characters "chase" even after being told no? How do we make sense of him promoting respect for boundaries while his characters ignore them?